The Secret doesn’t mean ignore the truth. Maybe they (The Secret, Inc.) haven’t clarified the importance of using negative emotions and experiences as useful information to make a real change. I feel that our greatest failures are our greatest gifts. I feel that The Secret did show that if you focus on negative aspects of your personal life like debt and frustration, those will expand. If you focus on how sick you are and how your life isn’t fair, that will create more of the same. That is true and very useful. Perhaps The Secret II will show how “hitting bottom” is the greatest gift b/c it opens our eyes to the truth and forces us to change. We should always be searching for where mishaps and mistakes can happen, that way we can prevent them. The Secret does not talk about that.
Although no one in their right mind would ignore cancer treatments, there is a growing and vast body of scientific data built in the last 5-10 years that is proving an extremely strong mind-body connection. That is now undeniable. So, if you want health, meditate on health. If you want a heart attack and cancer, act angry, frustrated, and ungrateful. This has been scientifically proven. A scientific article in the paper yesterday stated that people who are ungrateful and think “Life isn’t fair” are at something like a 60% increased risk of a heart attack. That’s huge. If we were talking about a drug doing that, it would be a huge effect. A “Gratitude Attitude” is perhaps the single best thing you can do for your health, along with social support, exercise, and weight loss.
The great thing about healing visualizations, relaxation breathing, and social support is that it is free! These are extremely strong statistically proven factors related to health. So ignore them at your own peril.
Does that mean someone who gets cancer, for example, was lacking in some relaxed, spiritual sense? No. Sometimes free radicals just mess with our cells and we get cancer through no fault of our own thoughts or deeds. However, now the scientific consensus is that YES, You Can Give Yourself Cancer/Heart Disease, etc.
There is a wonderful scientific business book called Good to Great, by Jim Collins that Harry’s company lives by. In it are the most important factors common to “Great” companies. (However, these factors are human factors that can and should be applied to individual greatness.) The most important one is humility. Another one of the important success factors is called The Stockdale Paradox, read about it here.
Read it and weep! Live every day like it is your last.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Blumner Misattributes Media, "Easier Road"
May 13, Robyn Blumner column
RE: Stay-at-home moms take big financial risk(http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/13/News/Stay_at_home_moms_tak.shtml)
In her column, Robyn Blumner wisely advises that mothers should never rest easy and just assume their husbands will always be fully dedicated to the marriage partnership. To take that gamble puts women and their children in a very precarious position. I’m sure all the divorced mothers out there never planned on their marriage failing or thought their husband would leave them poverty stricken. They mistakenly believed that love was enough.
Nevertheless, the reason that accomplished, educated, professional women are opting for full-time motherhood when their children are young is not (as Blumner assumed) because of the media, career stress, or that being a stay-at-home mom is the “easier road.” The reason that we are staying home with our young children is because we feel that being a full-time mother to our young children is the best thing for our children.
I remember when I thought that motherhood was probably pretty easy. That was before I had children. Now I think that for some mothers, it is probably the “easier road” to drop their babies off at daycare for eight or nine hours and go to work and get something accomplished in the larger world.
Yet, if some mothers (or fathers – see Chris Gardner) had to drop off their babies they would never stop crying. Some parents that have to work cry because they know that five bottles of formula, an hour of Elmo, and two three-hour naps at the $8-an-hour day care lady’s house doesn’t compare with mom, nursing that baby, singing it goofy songs, rolling around on the floor together, learning signs at Music With Mar together, and falling asleep with visions of bug hunts, tickles, jokes, and comfort, all from mom. I may not be using my Ph.D. fully, but I’m willing to bet that I’m doing a better job at teaching my kids how to read, making them learn right from wrong, and instilling our values of kindness, acceptance, integrity, and honesty, than anyone else could do.
In fact, no one could pay me enough to drop my kids at day care so that I could go to work. Perhaps what Scott Peck wrote is true, that “Making a big difference in one person’s life is more important than making a small difference in many lives.” Raising our kids ourselves is the most important thing we will ever do.
Yes, staying at home is a short-term risk, but it is worth it. If I didn’t have my husband on board with that and deep trust, I couldn’t make this sacrifice. Still, I plan to pursue a vibrant career as the children grow. They are only a few years that mom is needed so badly. Before I know it, they’ll be asking me to drop them off a block from the mall. To everything, there is a season.
-A.
RE: Stay-at-home moms take big financial risk(http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/13/News/Stay_at_home_moms_tak.shtml)
In her column, Robyn Blumner wisely advises that mothers should never rest easy and just assume their husbands will always be fully dedicated to the marriage partnership. To take that gamble puts women and their children in a very precarious position. I’m sure all the divorced mothers out there never planned on their marriage failing or thought their husband would leave them poverty stricken. They mistakenly believed that love was enough.
Nevertheless, the reason that accomplished, educated, professional women are opting for full-time motherhood when their children are young is not (as Blumner assumed) because of the media, career stress, or that being a stay-at-home mom is the “easier road.” The reason that we are staying home with our young children is because we feel that being a full-time mother to our young children is the best thing for our children.
I remember when I thought that motherhood was probably pretty easy. That was before I had children. Now I think that for some mothers, it is probably the “easier road” to drop their babies off at daycare for eight or nine hours and go to work and get something accomplished in the larger world.
Yet, if some mothers (or fathers – see Chris Gardner) had to drop off their babies they would never stop crying. Some parents that have to work cry because they know that five bottles of formula, an hour of Elmo, and two three-hour naps at the $8-an-hour day care lady’s house doesn’t compare with mom, nursing that baby, singing it goofy songs, rolling around on the floor together, learning signs at Music With Mar together, and falling asleep with visions of bug hunts, tickles, jokes, and comfort, all from mom. I may not be using my Ph.D. fully, but I’m willing to bet that I’m doing a better job at teaching my kids how to read, making them learn right from wrong, and instilling our values of kindness, acceptance, integrity, and honesty, than anyone else could do.
In fact, no one could pay me enough to drop my kids at day care so that I could go to work. Perhaps what Scott Peck wrote is true, that “Making a big difference in one person’s life is more important than making a small difference in many lives.” Raising our kids ourselves is the most important thing we will ever do.
Yes, staying at home is a short-term risk, but it is worth it. If I didn’t have my husband on board with that and deep trust, I couldn’t make this sacrifice. Still, I plan to pursue a vibrant career as the children grow. They are only a few years that mom is needed so badly. Before I know it, they’ll be asking me to drop them off a block from the mall. To everything, there is a season.
-A.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Bedier: Media Distort Islam
RE: Bedier: Media Distort Islam
(http://sptimes.com/2007/05/05/Hillsborough/Bedier__Media_distort.shtml)
Bedier claims that suicide bombers act on political motivations, not necessarily in the name of Islam, as the killers say. However, in the Islamic world, ideally there is no separation of church and state. The truest submission to Allah is to align all religion and politics in an Islamic world.
Suicide bombers are almost always Islamic fundamentalists and Islam, by its inherent nature, encourages fundamentalism. Christians have their share of fundamentalist abortion clinic bombers, but fortunately, the Christian fundamentalists do not have control of politics, the law, and the state.
Bedier is wrong when he says, “There’s nothing in our faith that says it’s okay to kill anyone.” The Quran 2:191-2 says, “Kill disbelievers wherever you find them.” Muslims are indeed killing people in the name of Allah and the media is simply reporting this fact.
Muslims are teaching their sons to bring honor to their family and to Islam by making the ultimate sacrifice. Stop blaming the media and take responsibility: When Muslims stop blowing people up in the name of Islam, then we will stop thinking of Muslims as fundamentalist killers of all who are not like them.
Published Letter to the Editor in the St. Pete Times:
See Known by their acts here:
http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/11/Opinion/Today_s_Letters__Tax_.shtml
(http://sptimes.com/2007/05/05/Hillsborough/Bedier__Media_distort.shtml)
Bedier claims that suicide bombers act on political motivations, not necessarily in the name of Islam, as the killers say. However, in the Islamic world, ideally there is no separation of church and state. The truest submission to Allah is to align all religion and politics in an Islamic world.
Suicide bombers are almost always Islamic fundamentalists and Islam, by its inherent nature, encourages fundamentalism. Christians have their share of fundamentalist abortion clinic bombers, but fortunately, the Christian fundamentalists do not have control of politics, the law, and the state.
Bedier is wrong when he says, “There’s nothing in our faith that says it’s okay to kill anyone.” The Quran 2:191-2 says, “Kill disbelievers wherever you find them.” Muslims are indeed killing people in the name of Allah and the media is simply reporting this fact.
Muslims are teaching their sons to bring honor to their family and to Islam by making the ultimate sacrifice. Stop blaming the media and take responsibility: When Muslims stop blowing people up in the name of Islam, then we will stop thinking of Muslims as fundamentalist killers of all who are not like them.
Published Letter to the Editor in the St. Pete Times:
See Known by their acts here:
http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/11/Opinion/Today_s_Letters__Tax_.shtml
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Social Activity
We have come to a realization lately that social activity is truly one of the keys to happiness and longevity. Ironically, everything these days forces us into being less social: computers (here I am), TV, video games, house and apartment design, city planning. I think there are a few places where people have recognized this trend and are building cities, places, homes to foster more social interactions, but in general I think it is pretty bad/sad. We long for a front porch on our house where we can hang out and visit our neighbors. I'd like a good neighborhood pub we can walk to. I think old folks homes could use more of this type of thing... I have been thinking about idea involving a front porch type concept, but for apartments. Hmmmm.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Bullying
bullying is most likely to occur in schools where there is a lack of adult supervision during breaks
Hi! Found this and wanted to share how common bullying is in schools. I wonder if spending time helping out in the child’s class lessens bullying a bit? (Idea: Lean in to the bully during a teaching moment…say their name, put your hand on their shoulder. Say, “I’m so glad you are such good friends with my child.”) Also, if your child is ever bullied or picked on, you can sue the family and the school. Many victims have won lawsuits. (IMHO, either sue or your kid can punch the bully in the nose until they’re bawling! Punch first and punch hard. Bully wants an easy victim.) –A.
http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/bullying.asp
What can schools do to stop bullying?
Effective programs have been developed to reduce bullying in schools. Research has found that bullying is most likely to occur in schools where there is a lack of adult supervision during breaks, where teachers and students are indifferent to or accept bullying behavior, and where rules against bullying are not consistently enforced.
When there is a school-wide commitment to end bullying, it can be reduced by up to 50 percent. One effective approach focuses on changing school and classroom climates by: raising awareness about bullying, increasing teacher and parent involvement and supervision, forming clear rules and strong social norms against bullying, and providing support and protection for all students. This approach involves teachers, principals, students, and everyone associated with the school, including janitors, cafeteria workers, and crossing guards. Adults become aware of the extent of bullying at the school, and they involve themselves in changing the situation, rather than looking the other way. Students pledge not to bully other students, to help students who are bullied, and to make a point to include students who are left out.
Hi! Found this and wanted to share how common bullying is in schools. I wonder if spending time helping out in the child’s class lessens bullying a bit? (Idea: Lean in to the bully during a teaching moment…say their name, put your hand on their shoulder. Say, “I’m so glad you are such good friends with my child.”) Also, if your child is ever bullied or picked on, you can sue the family and the school. Many victims have won lawsuits. (IMHO, either sue or your kid can punch the bully in the nose until they’re bawling! Punch first and punch hard. Bully wants an easy victim.) –A.
http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/bullying.asp
What can schools do to stop bullying?
Effective programs have been developed to reduce bullying in schools. Research has found that bullying is most likely to occur in schools where there is a lack of adult supervision during breaks, where teachers and students are indifferent to or accept bullying behavior, and where rules against bullying are not consistently enforced.
When there is a school-wide commitment to end bullying, it can be reduced by up to 50 percent. One effective approach focuses on changing school and classroom climates by: raising awareness about bullying, increasing teacher and parent involvement and supervision, forming clear rules and strong social norms against bullying, and providing support and protection for all students. This approach involves teachers, principals, students, and everyone associated with the school, including janitors, cafeteria workers, and crossing guards. Adults become aware of the extent of bullying at the school, and they involve themselves in changing the situation, rather than looking the other way. Students pledge not to bully other students, to help students who are bullied, and to make a point to include students who are left out.
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