Thursday, April 14, 2005

Locker Room Porn Star

OK, is it just me or is there a particular line of locker room etiquette that is crossed when individuals choose to strut around the locker room without wearing anything? No, it’s not a big deal; I can probably live with it, but it definitely vexes me. So much so that I guess I feel the need to write this to get it off of my chest.

There are certain people out there that choose to make absolutely no effort to cover themselves presumably on their way to or from the shower. My gym even has one of those curtained-off, private areas outside the shower in which one is free to prepare for the shower beforehand and to prepare to reenter the world of clothing afterward. However, even with this amenity there are still those that would prefer to share their loins with the rest of the locker room community.

Now, I understand I’m in a locker room; I should probably expect that there be semi-nude individuals in the vicinity every once in a while. However, it seems as though there are some individuals that lack a certain level of modesty about them. I don’t mean to say that these people are necessarily conscious of their poodle parade, I wish they were; it is as if these people haven’t a clue that it is not polite to prance around the locker room without any attempt to cover up. More likely, it is that these people do not care a bit how their exposition may make others feel uncomfortable. They act like they are on a porno movie set: “Nobody cares if I walk around in the buff. They’re all watchin’ me anyway.” If we were in a nudist colony, fine, I would deem this acceptable behavior. Maybe in locker rooms of other cultures, this would be OK. In American locker rooms it seems that there is unwritten etiquette that states “whenever it is remotely possible, cover yourself.”

Now, maybe this is not the case in women’s locker rooms as I have not ever been in the situation where I could take observations on how women behave in this context. My sample of one (my wife) states that she has not noticed this type of locker room porn star behavior, but that does not mean it does not happen there too. However, for some reason, I doubt that. It seems that it is usually the male of the species that puts on a display for the female, or in this case, whomever.

Don’t get me wrong. Most individuals tend to show some respect for those around them; at least their actions erring on the side of modesty seem to acknowledge the presence of others. I like to follow the rule, “in and out and no one gets hurt.” By this I mean, dress and undress yourself quickly, efficiently. Wear the underwear you plan to exercise in before you get to the gym. Minimize the nudity whenever possible. After shower time, put on at least your underwear in the shower area, finish getting dressed and get out. We don’t want to see you naked. Really, we don’t.

So, this is a request to all of the locker room porn stars of the world: stop the indecency, show some humility, and please, oh, please cover yourself up. At the very least, use a towel; the rest of us are not interested in watching your cullions drip-dry.