Levy's Fresh Air interview on Raunch Culture

I really found Ariel Levy’s take on the Rise of Raunch Culture to ring true. She says so eloquently what I, and perhaps many of us, have been thinking for a few years now. Click the link below to listen:

NPR : Women in the Girls Gone Wild Era http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6549015&sc=emaf

My thoughts are on why men behave badly is because women let them. If women respected themselves, men would be forced to rise to the task. The rate of out of wedlock births has skyrocketed to 37% last year. This bodes sadly for the feminization of poverty and the shrinking middle class.

It seems that these are desperate times for women. The times may call for the desperate measures of encouraging women not to “give the milk away for free.” It seems like this may be only bargaining chip young women have left.

Securing reproductive rights is also paramount. Levitt in Freakonomics links the drop in crime from the 90’s on to the unwanted children who would have committed crimes but who were not born to do so. Levitt also found that the one predictor of child success was that the mother was over 30 at the birth of her first child. Women need time to grow up and get their education.

Finally, a lot of my friends with young children, like me, are now looking for low-paying education or service jobs. These women were executives and software engineers, and me – a Ph.D. But we all want to work school hours and don’t want to scramble on holidays or in the summer. We can’t find any companies to hire us under these constraints. The jobs just aren’t there. There aren’t even many job-sharing jobs. I’ve been encouraging my bright mother friends to do consulting instead of becoming a teacher’s aide or a lunch lady. We need to create more flex-time corporate jobs, one way or another. Right now our choices are the tyranny of housewifery or somewhat sacrificing our childrens’ well-being or at least some needed time with them.

Thank you for teaching, mentoring, and encouraging young women today. They need you more than you know!

Residents want a playground near (St. Pete Times)

Amy's in the paper again! This one is from the Neighborhood Times section, November 12, 2006. Check it out: Residents want a playground near - Archives: St. Petersburg Times

Florida Constitutional Amendments

The wording of the Amendments up for vote on the Ballot is like the Emperor's New Clothes: No one wants to admit it is entirely perplexing, lest one seem the simpleton. However, I fear for democracy that I, a well-read learned adult with advanced degrees, cannot understand the Amendments as they are worded on the Ballot.

Stop the insanity: state the Amendments in plain English for regular people. Otherwise democracy is surely impeded.

Raunch Culture relates to marriage stats

The statistics show that married adults are now in the minority (49.7%). This phenomenon has profound effects for our social structure and how future generations will understand their lives.

Research has consistently shown that everyone wants to get married: That goal has never faltered. Yet fear of divorce and changing social mores have stalled the trip to the altar. Ironically, couples who "test drive" marriage by moving in together first are more likely not to get married, and if they do, these couples are more likely to divorce.

Suspiciously, the rise of "Raunch Culture" coincides with the decrease in households with married couples. It seems that when women allow men to "sit on the fence" about marriage, objectify women’s bodies with no consequence, and stay adolescent forever, men will.

Marriage requires the hero's journey. It is a sacrifice not to “a ball and chain,” but rather to a conscious life freely chosen and fully embraced. Are most men today willing to take up the gauntlet? And are most women today settling for a boy, not a man?

The Democrats’ Opportunity

How the Democrats Can Step Up - washingtonpost.com

Dear Mr. Ignatius,

What a delight it was to read your deeply insightful piece called “The Democrats’ Opportunity” today in my St. Pete Times. You describe, for the first time in the national discourse, exactly the issues we are facing and the dearth of leadership regarding these points.

I am pessimistic, however, that the Democrats will present a clear alternative emphasizing real change towards accountability, basic ethics, and cooperation, because they’ve failed to communicate a coherent statement on Iraq and general foreign policy in a post 9-11 world. Further, democrats failed to win the Presidency in 2002 because regular American democrats were not necessarily “For Kerry,” we were merely “For Anyone but Bush.” The reason Americans were not “For Kerry” was because he did not have a clearly communicated USP, or what we call in marketing, “Unique Selling Proposition.” A USP is something the people want, but are not getting, and can not get, someplace else. This makes the alternative clear and attractive.

Is the Democratic platform clear and attractive? No. The Democrats are being fed by the same hands of corruption in Washington. Democrats are getting more of a “pay-off” to stay mired in corruption and confused. Please see Moyer on America on PBS for the in-depth report on Abrahamoff/DeLay scandal.

Also, see my letter in the Times…

Politicos, Where is the Leadership?

The 2008 elections for President of the United States are just two years away, but where is the leadership we the people deserve? Who, from either party, is standing up to say...

"The Iraq War may or may not be a distraction from the real war on terrorist hot spots, still we are firmly committed to success there. Since we are already committed to success in Iraq, let's give our troops the ability to actually finish the job: Let's give the generals everything they need to do their job.

At the same time, let us fight a sophisticated, allied, war on terror. Let us not only bomb, but infiltrate ideas. Let us introduce Arab teens to rational influences. Let us not only invade, but channel economic incentives and pressures to align with our goals. Let us rebuild strong ties with the free world again and stop funding terrorism through buying terrorists' oil."

Where is this politician? Who is this leader that will unite America again? And when can meet this next president?

Mama, Don't Let Your Boyfriend Baby-sit

A mother's boyfriend was sentenced to life in prison last week for killing
the mother's 2-year old daughter while babysitting. In another case, Eric
Tate has recently been charged with capital sexual battery after he raped
and killed his girlfriend's 2 1/2-year old daughter.

Mama, don't let your boyfriend baby-sit. Studies show that the incidence of
child abuse is 33 times higher among children living with their mother and
her boyfriend (compared to children living with their biological, married
parents) [Family Education Trust, 1993].

I know it must be very, very hard to be a single mother: It is hard not to
get a break. But, it would be harder to bury your baby who died at the hand
of your boyfriend. Boyfriends are not babysitters. Nurses, let's get the
word out as mom leaves the hospital.

The Pedophiles' War on Our Children's Safety

The New York Times four-month investigation of pedophiles online reveals revolting and dangerous conversations about molesting children. In sum, today’s online pedophiles believe that society misunderstands them and that children really want to have sex with adults. Online pedophiles are leading a social movement towards the acceptance of sex with children. These chat groups also share information on how to gain access to children and how to further their mission in having sex with children, in propagating child pornography, and in gaining social acceptance of this criminal behavior.

NAMBLA, or the North American Man-boy Love Association, declares that they are fighting oppression against sexual relationships between adults and children. Last year, Robert Hamer, the undercover FBI agent who arrested some NAMBLA members, said before he retired that this was the most personally challenging assignment in his 26-year career: “These are ministers, special-education teachers, a dentist, professional people. They're your next-door neighbor, your kid's coach."

The pedophiles seem to be winning this war on our children’s safety. Most of us remain blissfully unaware that there even is a war. Yet this war is taking precious casualties: Last week in Tampa Bay, a 2 ½ year old girl died from being sexually abused by her mother’s boyfriend.

What can we do? First, we can supervise our children ourselves. Second, we can enact and enforce tougher laws (such as life in prison for first offense) on the sexual predators of children. Third, we can make any discussion of pedophilia on the web illegal. We can recognize the web as a portal to catch pedophiles and designate more resources to catch predators online. Do not retreat from this war!

Colbert Roasts President Bush - 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner - Google Video

Colbert Roasts President Bush - 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner - Google Video

I know this was a while ago, but it is so frickin' funny. How did they let that happen? The man has guts.

Protect children... Shame on Us All

On Wednesday, March 15, the good guys caught the bad guys. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE Cyber Crimes Center) led an investigation into an international child pornography ring and succeeded in arresting 27 child victimizers. These 27 perverts were using an Internet chat room to molest children and distribute child pornography.

Although undercover agents were able to identify the criminals, the investigation took 10 months. That duration of time is more than half the entire life of the baby under 18 months old who was molested on live streaming video. The implications of the 10-month investigation mean that after authorities received the tip, these children suffered brutal rapes, molestation, and victimization possibly several times a day for more than 10 months.

The effects of child sexual abuse are grave physical harm – even death, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), suicide, depression, anxiety, promiscuity, behavior disorders, substance abuse, and psychiatric disorders (http://www.childtrauma.org). Many child molesters were molested themselves as children, which may be creating an exponential increase of child molestation in general over time.

Child sexual abuse brings shame on us all. How can we prevent Internet web and chat room child pornography? How can we prevent child sexual abuse? Perhaps a good place to start would be to hold Google and especially Yahoo (Yahoo has many child porn group members) accountable for allowing access to child pornography pages.

E-mail Yahoo to tell them to stop allowing child porn groups. Contact your legislators to enact laws that would hold more business accountable. Get online (if you can stomach it) and report child porn sites to www.cybertipline.com, https://tips.fbi.gov/, and Operation.Predator@dhs.gov.

The agencies responsible for policing the web are the FBI's Cyber Crimes Program www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/innocent.htm and the ICE Cyber Crimes Center http://www.ice.gov/graphics/investigations/services/cyberbranch.htm. If these agencies cannot adequately protect children, we need to find another way to increase protection. We are all responsible.

The Boyfriend Effect

In the November 5th issue of Pediatrics, researchers reported some astounding statistics. They found that children residing in households with unrelated adults were nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries than children residing with 2 biological parents.

The researchers did not find any increased risk for children living alone with a single parent. The majority of known perpetrators were male (71.2%), and most were the child's father (34.9%) or the boyfriend of the child's mother (24.2%).

In these high-risk households, the boyfriend was typically responsible for caring for the child at the time of the fatal-injury event and was the perpetrator of abuse.

Mommas, don't let your boyfriend take care of your baby. Better to not work then to let the boyfriend baby-sit. Most of these deaths came from shaking the baby's head. Nurses and social services, let's get the word out. Will social services please make a pamphlet about "The Boyfriend Effect?"

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/116/5/e687

Godsend

Here is something close to the lyrics of Godsend by Beat Happening. I heard this song today and I thought of my wife.


Godsend

it's just the things you do, you make it true
it's just the things you do, you make it true

you wanna run and play, you make a sunny day
you wanna run and play, you make a sunny day

you wanna have a look, you open every book
you wanna have a look, you open every book

it's just the things you do, you make it true, you're a godsend
it's just the things you do, you make it true, you're a godsend

you stay up every night, awash in candlelight
you stay up every night, awash in candlelight

it's just the things you do, you make it true
it's just the things you do, you make it true, you're a godsend
you're a godsend
you're a godsend

see a man on the street, you wash his tired feet
see a man on the street, you wash his tired feet

it's just the things you do, you make it true
see a man on the street, you wash his tired feet
see a man on the street, you wash his tired feet
see a man on the street, you wash his tired feet
you're a godsend
godsend...

it's just the things you do, you make it true, you're a godsend
it's just the things you do, you make it true, you're a godsend
you're a godsend
you're a godsend
you're a godsend
you're a godsend...

you wanna run and play, you make a sunny day
you wanna have a look, you open every book

you stay up every night, awash in candlelight
you stay up every night, awash in candlelight

see a man on the street, you wash his tired feet

you wanna rest your head, you make a bed, you make a bed
you wanna rest your head, you make a bed, you make a bed

you're a godsend
godsend

see a tear in your eye, you don't know why
see a tear in your eye, you don't know why
see a tear in your eye, you don't know why, you don't know why

see a tear in your eye, you don't know why
you're a godsend
see a tear in your eye, you don't know why
see a tear in your eye, you don't know why, you don't know why
see a tear in your eye, you don't know why
you're a godsend
see a tear in your eye, you don't know why
you're a godsend
you're a godsend
you're a godsend...

it's just the things you do, you make it true
it's just the things you do, you make it true

you're a godsend.

Letter...

A people may be judged, not merely on their economic vitality or their military conquests, but rather on how well they take care of the most vulnerable -- children, the sick, the elderly. We are all vulnerable, at least once.

Yet, child sexual predators in our neighborhoods and the traffickers of children into sex slavery all over the world perpetrate the most atrocious crimes one can imagine. Not only are approximately 60% of convicted child sexual predators out on probation, but also millions of children around the world are sold into sex slavery every year (see http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/rsorp94.htm and the Protection Project).

The sexual predators of children are extremely rampant. The "typical" child sex offender knows their victim and molests an average of 117 children (NIH, 1988). Approximately one out of every five children is sexually abused before age 18 and one in five children are sexually solicited while on the Internet.

What is being done to protect our precious, innocent children? Analyses show that 70 percent of those found guilty of a felony sex offense against a child did not serve jail time (Cheit, R., Ph.D.). Approximately 24% of all known child sexual predators are "missing" from the registry.

Florida, however, has swiftly enacted one of the toughest laws against child predators, the Jessica Lunsford Act, because her attacker was a known, registered sex offender. Now, people who would commit a sex crime against a child younger than 12 face a mandatory sentence of at least 25 years in prison and lifetime GPS tracking. Sadly, the law does not protect children 12-18 years old. What should the law be for an adult committing a sexual crime against a child? Should the punishment/deterrent be twenty-five years or life in prison? Can we be responsible for another child being molested?

The second almost unspeakable horror is the commercial sexual exploitation of millions of children around the world. 200,000 girls from Nepal have been kidnapped for sex slavery in India. The Thai government reports that 60,000 Thai children have been sold into prostitution. 10,000 children aged between six and 14 are enslaved in brothels in Sri Lanka. Cambodia, known as the Asian travel destination for pedophiles, has 20,000 child slaves in brothels. Interestingly, research has shown a correlation between peacekeepers and sex slavery, where young soldiers frequent brothels over-seas.

In recent years, the United States has led the way (ahead of the UN) in enacting the Trafficking Victim Protection Reauthorization Act. Under the act, the United States can use sanctions against nations on the "Special Watch List" who are not helping to end child sex slavery. However, the President did pardon Saudi Arabia and India from these sanctions. In some countries, it is a crime to sexually abuse children abroad, yet many countries do not have Child Sex Tourism (CST) laws.

America is the leader in committing $50 million to help rescue sex slaves around the world, yet many countries are not achieving convictions of the child traffickers and the criminals go unpunished. Still, arresting pimps is not very difficult: To remain in business, child sex slaves are advertised and easy to access. Rescuers and police officers posing as brothel clients can end the torture.

Here are some ways for you to help the children:

1. Contribute to UNICEF (http://www.unicef.org/) to end child sex slavery.
2. Write to your representatives
   (http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Representatives/representatives.aspx; http://www.flsenate.gov/Legislators/index.cfm?Mode=Find%20Your%20Legislators&Submenu=3&Tab=legislators; http://www.ccaflorida.org/updates/congressional_e-mail.htm) and to the United Nations (http://www.un.org/comments.html) to share your views on what punishments against child sex crimes should be.
3. Oprah offers a $100,000 reward to anyone giving a tip that leads to the arrest of a child sexual predator: http://www2.oprah.com/presents/2005/predator/predator_main.jhtml
4. John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted helps support new legislation: http://www.amw.com/features/feature_story_detail.cfm?id=464
5. Bill O’Reilly.com is committed to tough punishments.
6. Speak your mind to friends and family on this issue. Train your children to be as safe as possible.

We, the people, wish to end the dependency

The members of Congress, those men and women elected to do our will, are nowtossing about ways to restrict lobbyists. This recent flurry of integritywas sparked by the Abramoff scandal. Abramoff was a lobbyist who paid$50,000 to kill a bill to limit Internet gambling and he also admitted todefrauding four clients out of millions of dollars.

A lobbyist is hired to influence lawmaking in the interests of his/heremployer. Our politicians rely on lobbyists to contribute to their campaignsto in order to be re-elected. However, these are the same lawmakers whoactually regulate lobbying.

There lies the conflict of interest. Because it falls to the politicians(who need campaign contributions) to regulate lobbying, it is therefore nosurprise that lawmaker's would have difficulty saying, "No. We do not wantlobbyist's money and gifts. We want to act with complete integrity."According to PublicIntegrity.Org, a lobbying watch-group, 14,000 lobbyingdocuments that should have been filed with the Senate Office are missing.Furthermore, lobbyist led campaign committees have spent more than $525million to influence the political process since 1998.

If someone were to give you $5,100 in gifts and for re-election, would yoube so naïve to believe that there are absolutely no strings attached? Wouldyou just assume that the lobbyist just cares about supporting you with nothought to what the client will get in return? You don't buy it, do you?Yet, this is business-as-usual in Washington, D.C.

We, the people, need to call for an end to the financial and gifting side oflobbying. Lobbyists' roles should not include leading a politician'scampaign committee. Our congressional representatives should not befinancially dependent upon a special interest. Please e-mail, call, or writeto your congressional representatives and ask to fully end the dependency.Thomas Jefferson would say that Congress should not represent the will ofthe lobbyists, but instead it should represent the wishes of the people.

Pune Trip

I'm in India right now (Pune to be more precise) for work reasons. I just started another blog here for this trip to Pune: Pune Trip - http://punetrip.blogspot.com/
I am trying to update the pictures daily.

-Harry

Science Textbooks

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the definition of science is to acquire knowledge through the scientific method, which is "the collection of data through observation and experiment, and the formulation and testing of hypotheses" (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary).

As a social scientist fully indoctrinated with the importance of the scientific method, ethics, and peer-review, I have had to learn the difference between a scientific theory and the colloquial "theory" when a layperson tries to predict what mom will cook for dinner, for example.

Therefore, I fully urge the group choosing science textbooks to choose science, not the intelligent design option, which is not science.

Some may be thinking, "It is only fair to present both sides." However, there is actually no other side in science in this case. Thousands of different hypothesis tests using many different independent methods (the fossil record, comparative anatomy, DNA-biochemistry, embryology, biogeography, etc.) all come up with evolution as the answer. Intelligent design, which I concede has a very nice name, cannot be tested and cannot be science.

To choose the non-science textbook would not only be a waste of money, it would be a waste of young, scientific minds. In a world where global competition based on science and technology will determine our very welfare, please choose science.

P.S.: If it is any consolation, the ID-er’s definition of evolution is wrong: Evolution is not life from a bunch of “random” changes. On the contrary, there is nothing “random” about the environment pressuring species to change so they may better survive. There is certainly also room to believe that God made the universe and its rules. (Einstein alluded to as much.) I am one scientist who believes one of God’s rules is evolution.

Ganesh Temple

Ganesh Temple

I'm traveling to India next week. As I was looking for interesting things to see near where I am going (Pune, India) I came across this. This is probably my first online spiritual experience.

Comment on Columns: The education of a regretful housewife

Comment on (St. Pete Times) Columns: The education of a regretful housewife

Blumner's Sunday column tells the story of Terry Hekker, the former authority on homemaking as a viable choice. Hekker found herself heartbroken, duped, divorced, and penniless after raising five children and being a supportive wife to her husband for 40 years. Blumner's take-away from Hekker's story follows: "Striving in jobs that stretch our intellect ... or making money so we can direct the course of our lives, are expansive endeavors that engender widespread respect, unlike, to be blunt, stay-at-home parenting."

Although Hekker's lesson is a valuable one for modern women, Blumner's conclusion may be misplaced. Instead of concluding that a challenging career is the best answer to achieve widespread respect, self-actualization, personal growth, and financial power, one may ask why is it that taking responsibility for raising one's own babies and young children does not engender widespread respect, and if not financial security, than, at least, not a financial loss?

As a stay-at-home mother to two young children, I looked at my babies and thought, "Do I want to sacrifice my own self-actualization for a few years so that this baby can have the best? Or, do I want my child raised by workers who may or may not share my values, warmth, sense of humor, amount of hugging, keen eye for illness, curiosity on nature hikes, etc., etc.?" I answered, "Yes! I will sacrifice until my children are in school. I will care more about the future than I do about my own needs." There will be a time when the children will fly away. There will be time enough for career. It is my job to take responsibility for raising these children right. Mom: Nobody Does It Better.

Raising our children from birth is, bar none, my husband's and my greatest satisfaction and achievement. Unfortunately for the future of our society and our world, there are not enough parents who fully take on the responsibility of raising their children as best as they can. For the parents who have to work, those parents are doing the best they can. Yet, the disregard of where the buck stops will negatively affect our future and us all.

The "pay-off" for day care to raise your children is too easy to take. However, the solution is not necessarily for all mothers to go back to work as quickly as possible, but to call for policies such as paid leave, a "family allowance," work credit for parenting time, and divorce laws that recognize the wife's contribution to the family's career. (See the "U.S. Lags Far Behind" report: http://www.globalworkingfamilies.org/).

I know "mother" is so ubiquitous she is unseen. I wrote this poem to see her:

I'm just a mom.
You don't see me because I'm always here,
Like breathing or the back of your hand.
I'm just a mom.
Always ready with a smile, a hug, some advice...
Looking like
Somebody's mom.
Just what I meant to look like. (Not a doormat but, you see, it's not about me.)
Available to you at any moment that you should need me,
For anything.
Always ready to drive you anywhere,
Snacks in hand.
I'm just a mom.
The One who is your voice,
Your biggest protector,
All the while,
Helping you find your voice.
Just a mom keeping the home calm
So your eyes shine clear and strong.
I'm just a mom, who, long ago, put aside her own ego
To devote her life to something larger -
Heroic even -
To create a happy family.
And
It is exactly what I meant to do.
So, next time you see one, See one.
Smile and know
That although and because you see mom all the time,
She is a heaven-blessed hero.

-Anonymous Stay-at-home-mom (for now!)
Market Researcher
Ph.D. Candidate