Smart Discipline...

Hi!

I went to a parenting class last night called "Smart Discipline." The book of the same name is written by Larry Koenig, Ph.D. There are 2 aspects to this discipline. First, there is a chart. Second, there is praise. However, there are specific techniques for both to use optimally.

The first aspect of Smart Discipline is the chart. Step 1: Brainstorm and make a list of everything your child does which drives you crazy. Step 2: If your child is less than 8 years old, choose the top 5 of those bad behaviors and make a list of rules based on them. (You may make more rules over 8 years old.) Step 3: Make a list of your child's favorite things. Rank them from 1 to 5 with 5 being the most favorite. Make daily charts that have 8 boxes. In the first three, write nothing. In the last five go the 5 favorite things. Under the boxes, make a line that says, "Good job on _____."

So now you have a page with The Rules on it and a page with a chart (boxes) on it. Explain to the child that these are the rules and could they help you work on keeping them? Next explain that whenever they break a rule (only the 5 on the list), they get a strike in a box going from left to right. Say, "you have 3 free boxes. Then you will lose privledges when you break a rule."

The second aspect of Smart Discipline is about praise. Because a child is very influenced by how others label him/her, you can use this to your advantage. Make a list of the values that you want your child to have. Make sure to include ones in which your child may be lacking most at the moment. Pick one value. Then, look for any evidence that shows some inkling of that value. Later, take 2 minutes to say, for example, "I noticed that you were honest about taking an extra marble without asking. This shows that you are a very honest person. I really like that about you. Thank you for being honest." Or, you may jot this down as a note that they may cherish. Or, you may opt to have them "overhear" you saying this kind of thing to your spouse or friend.

Happy Smart Disciplining!


PS- We also use 1-2-3 timeout for anything that's not on the short list of 5 rules. And, we also use marbles -- particularly for good eating and behavior at meal times. Marbles can be used for a prize later.

Good Luck!